Atheos Dialogue: Mormons at the Door

Honey, the Mormons are at the door.

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(after knocking on door) I've been driving past your house for weeks & feel that God has led me here to speak with you!

Thanks for coming by. It's interesting you felt my home stood out in some way. What was it about my house that caught God's attention?

If your God truly was real, why didn't you come to my door the very first time you felt my house calling your attention?

I get that all the time. What are you selling?

Hello. That's interesting. What makes you think God wanted you to knock on my door instead of one of my neighbors?

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I've been inspired by the Holy Ghost to come here today. The Lord will always lead a shepherd to his sheep. May I come in?

Are you always able to properly interpret God's actions?

Of course. I have a little time. Please come in. May I offer you some tea or coffee?

I do have a little time. Please come in for some coffee, or perhaps tea?

Wait. Are you calling me a sheep? I have a brain & so do you. Can you rephrase your sentence before we go any further?

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Thank you! (sits down) Unfortunately, drinking tea or coffee goes against God's desire to protect us, but thank you for the offer.

OK. Let me get you a glass of water instead. Would God be angry if you drank either of those two hot beverages?

Take it or leave it.

At what point does plain water become tea? If I dropped a gram of tea leaves in the water, would that be permissible?

So sorry. I was not aware of that restriction. Here's a fresh glass of water. May I ask why you cannot drink hot tea or coffee?

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The Lord wants to keep us from harm. He's not restricting, He's protecting. Like a mom wouldn't let a child play in the street.

Maybe your Mother. But my Mom encouraged freedom of expression, within reasonable limits. I take it you're not a Libertarian?

This I have to see! Where exactly is this rule written?

That's fascinating! How does one determine when God is protecting & when He happens to be restricting something?

Hmm. How could one know this? How does God specifically tell someone that He is protecting, not restricting?

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The Lord revealed this through his current Prophets (blushes). I know that this (holds book up) is the truth. Do you care about the truth?

Hold on. We're not talking about anything else until you drink a boiling hot liquid of some variety.

Absolutely, yes. We share a love for the truth. How did God confirm to you that it was true?

Yes, absolutely. We have that in common. It is of the utmost importance to me. How does one know that they've found a truth?

I know it means a lot to you, that book really means nothing to me. Why do you accept that book to be a source of reliability?

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God confirmed it for me through prayer & I have had a personal revelation from God through the Holy Ghost.

It sounds like your God communicates with you telepathically then? Are there other methods of communication He uses?

Can you explain what that confirmation looked like?

Men have created lots of Gods in their time. Which God would you happen to be talking about?

How did he confirm it to you?

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It's hard to describe. But it really did happen. I know it in my heart. My chest swells with understanding when I pray.

These all sound like bodily functions. Do you usually rely on body functions to figure out what's right & wrong?

My uncle experiences a similar reaction after eating pizza—are you certain this isn't just indigestion?

It sounds like you're confident in your belief. Is there anything else that could account for these feelings?

Is there anything you could encounter that would lower your confidence that you understand this to be true?

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Probably not. I mean, the Book of Mormon spells it all out so clearly & beautifully. May I give you a Bible?

Sure, but please realize that I will probably never read it.

No thanks. Have you sought out other points of view regarding the Book of Mormon on the Internet?

Sure. Thanks. Have you studied other online, secular resources regarding the Book of Mormon?

What specifically is 'beautiful' about the Book of Mormon?

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We feel that anything that isn't official Church-approved material is anti-Mormon literature & of the Devil, so we simply don't read it.

Now that's convenient. Can you see the obvious reasons why Mormon leadership would like to steer you away from other resources?

With all due respect, before I could accept the Bible as true, I would need a good reason to believe it to be true. Make sense?

Frankly, before I could accept your Bible to be true, it would need to be demonstrated in some manner. Right?

I have the whole Internet in my pocket. Would you be willing to spend 30 minutes with me on some basic research?

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That's great, because the Book of Mormon is the Truth. I know it's the Truth. Are you sure you care about the Truth?

Muslims say the Qu'ran is true, too. But I don't see you pulling that book out of your snazzy yellow backpack.

I understand that you believe the Bible is true. And I do want to believe true things. How do you know the Bible is true?

As I mentioned, what's real, or true, is very important to me. How do you know that the Bible is true?

Yes, I care about the truth. But I get the sense that you don't really care what's true, even though that's all you say.

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Well, the Bible won't make sense unless you're sincere. You must have a sincere desire to know the truth. Are you sincere?

(laughing) Being sincere will make the Bible clear?

Well, 'sincere' is my middle name. What makes you think I'm not as sincere as you claim to be?

I'm completely sincere in my desire to differentiate truth from falsity. How does one go about figuring this out?

I absolutely have a sincere desire to know what's true & what's false. How do we figure this out?

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Correct. In order to understand God's word you need to ask with a sincere heart & real intent.

If someone is sincere can't they still be mistaken?

Thanks for clarifying. Now, which God are you speaking of?

Does sincerity always translate into truth? Could sincere people be mistaken?

I get the sense you're just making this up as you go along. You don't really believe this, do you?

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The Holy Ghost helps sincere people interpret the Bible & talk with God in prayer. I feel warmth, comfort—my chest swells—so I know!

Hmm. I've always felt saying, 'I don't know' when one doesn't know something is a good thing. Would you agree?

I'm pretty convinced you don't really know & are just saying this whole chest thing because others told you.

Would you agree that saying, 'I don't know' when you don't have an answer is the honest thing to say?

You've mentioned this phenomenon before; have you thought about seeing a physician about this?

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Yes. That makes sense. I'm open to new ideas. Your questions make me think you're seeking answers that you don't want to be lost.

Cool. I think saying, 'I don’t know' when that's the case is good. Are feelings a big part of how you figure out what's true or not?

Have you ever considered that you're the one who could be lost?

Your questions make me sad. Who did this to you?

Good. I also think saying, 'I don't know' is honest & helpful. Do you rely on feelings to determine what's true or not?

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Absolutely. I know something is true because I have a feeling—the Holy Spirit—telling me it's true. My feelings don't deceive me.

What makes one's feelings a reliable guide to the truth?

Are you able to read the feelings of other Mormons?

But you can't trust your feelings. You do realize your feelings are the most untrustworthy things about humans, right?

How do you know your feelings are a reliable guide to the truth?

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But this IS the Truth. I feel it! My experience with the Holy Spirit is real. I'm certain. Feelings are a reliable pathway to knowledge.

Have you ever seen the Holy Spirit?

I've met Muslims who are just as confident as you that their feeling about the Qu'ran proves its truth. Are you both correct?

You might also feel that your children respect you, but in reality, they may not. Can you see why feelings aren't reliable?

Muslims have told me that what they believe is also true because they feel it. How can you both be correct?

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I'm correct. I've experienced the Truth of God. My personal experiences... my feelings... are very important to me...

So is my feeling that Luke Skywalker is a hero, but I'm not randomly going up to a stranger's home to convince them of that.

I fully recognize your experiences. But the feelings I have while reading 'Crime & Punishment' don't make it real, do they?

I'm not convinced you're interpreting these events in your life properly. Do you have a way to 'calibrate' your brain to spot defects?

I acknowledge that you have powerful feelings. I've experienced feelings while watching 'Casablanca,' but does that make it real?

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No. But this is much different. This is the Truth & I've had a Personal Revelation. My personal experience should be considered.

Maybe if you were applying for a job, but you're asking me to believe magical claims! Can you see the disconnect in your approach?

Well, in my personal experience, Mormons are closed-minded. Shall we wrap things up then?

Feelings may not lead one the truth. Can you see why others who haven't experienced it too are skeptical?

How do you know that leads to the truth? Can you see why others would not accept your experiences as objectively true?

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(pause) I see now. You just have to be sincere, read the Bible & you'll feel the Truth of God in your heart. May I call my Zone Leader?

Of course, please go right ahead. I need a glass of water, anyway.

Sure. What's her name? Surely you have female priests as well?

Certainly. By all means. I'll be right back to give you some privacy.

Sure, but let's get him on speaker phone—this I have to hear!

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(hangs up phone) Sorry. I have to leave soon. But, please know this (holds up book) is the Truth. I hope you will accept it as such one day.

Just feeling strongly & asserting that it's true isn't enough. That would have to be demonstrated in some way. Right?

Well, it doesn't look like that day is today (looks at watch). Can I get you a cold beer?

Teachers don't generally make blunt assertions to students. They offer solid reasons to believe those claims. Aren't good reasons important?

Why do you just keep asserting that your Bible is True? I could do the same thing with the phone book!

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Sure. If you ask God with real intent & a sincere heart, having faith in Christ, He will reveal to you the truth of the Book of Mormon.

I'm sincere. And I'm open. YOU are the one who seems to be closed off.

Hmm. If there were sufficient evidence to show your God were not real, what would that look like?

If I opened up my heart, it would likely be fatal. Are you talking figuratively here?

Hmm. If your Bible was not true & your God not real, how do you think you might realize that?

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In order for me to stop believing, God would need to appear to me & say he was not real.

Thanks, but I'm confused. If I believed in werewolves, the only way I'd stop believing is if the werewolf came to me?

Thanks. But that's perplexing. If I believed in unicorns, the only thing that would let me stop believing is a unicorn?

That makes no sense whatsoever. Can you even hear yourself speak?

Look! There He is! (points behind believer) Do you see him?!

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(chuckling) OK. I see your point. I guess there isn't anything that would cause me to think God wasn't real or the Bible wasn't the Truth.

You are as closed as a bank on a holiday.

I see. Do you use feeling alone when believing in other things besides God or the truth of the Bible?

Interesting. Are there other times in your life where you base your belief in something on a feeling alone?

Thanks, but this tells me that you're closed off. I had the feeling you'd say this even before you sat down.

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(long pause) I don't think so. Maybe the Holy Spirit, or my feelings, are just for the big things in life like God or the Bible...

OK. Thanks for thinking about that. But if using one's feeling were reliable, wouldn't we use it for nearly everything?

Yes. True. (stands up) Let's do this again next week?

Thanks. If basing a decision on one's feeling were good enough for big beliefs like God, why wouldn't we use it for everything else?

Thanks. Glad I finally got you thinking a bit. Shall we do this again next week?

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(very long pause) I don't know. (long pause) Are there any chores around the house I can do for you before I head out?

That's very nice of you to offer. I hope you have time to think about our talk until we meet again.

What makes you think I'd rely on someone with such a faulty epistemology to rake leaves?

Thanks for offering, but I'm good. It would be great if you would think about our talk until we meet again.

Yes, clean my kitchen, moron.